When you want to hire a technical leader at C-level it's SO HARD. But of course you cobble together a JD in committee with all the C-levels and of course some of the technical staff in case you might need a Kafka or something like that you don't really understand much. You bundle all those things together and then you put together the Key Experience piece, which is your brain shedding clues to the issues the company really faces.
An example follows. I would love to put in the disclaimer "Any likeness to real job descriptions, living or dead, or actual anything real is totally by chance." But I would be lying. This kind of shit comes up all the time.
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Original: Strategic thinker with strong technical depth and execution capability.
Translation: Hash-include stdexe.h
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Original: Innovative and forward-looking with a passion for technology and product excellence.
Translation: Please do not look at what we did in the past. But also let's not do that again. Please look at the shiny future instead where it is all fixed.
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Original: Strong leadership and team-building capabilities.
Translation: We have a very unengaged and unempowered technical workforce. But they are yours, and we are not spending any more on developers.
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Original: Highly analytical with strong problem-solving skills.
Translation: Please do magic to fix the thing.
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Original: Results-driven with a focus on delivery, quality, and scalability.
Translation: Do not spend time fixing things even though we have asked you to, instead keep making more things with the unengaged workforce, but less bugs this time.
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Original: Excellent communication skills, able to translate technical concepts to non-technical stakeholders.
Translation: Our CEO / CFO haven't a rashers about building software products and are extremely confused that it takes so long and costs so much.
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Original: Resilient and adaptable in a fast-paced, high-growth environment.
Translation: Fucking chaos, no complaining please.
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Original: Culturally aware with experience working across global markets.
Translation: All of our unengaged workforce are all over the world since we decided to be cheap on the salaries and our CEO knew a guy that knows some "really great" ex-developers that have discovered hosting a body-shop is better for their wallet and mental health.
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Original: Willingness and ability to travel internationally on a regular basis.
Translation: You are going to Dushanbe on Monday.
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